Last week we discussed how praying the Divine Mercy helped to open my heart to peace, trust, strength, and discipline with Christ. This week we will talk more about some of the other influential prayers that helped me to open myself up to deeper more intimate conversations with God on this journey to retraining my brain from being hurt and frustrated with being married to Mr. PTSD to walking in peace, trust, strength, and discipline with him.
For anyone who has been in a relationship with someone who is consistently in pain it can be heartbreaking and exhausting depending on how the pain impacts the person’s behavior. And, I have to say I did go to God often and I did feel like I had a good relationship with Him, yet inside I was drowning, barely treading. Now, I still tread water, but it’s with strength, assurance, and an incredible smile knowing my Savior is right there treading with me --- well, actually I am pretty sure he’s holding me in the palm of his hand.
Essentially what happened is that I learned to make God the priority. Rather than turn to work, or stare at the television, or Facebook, or any other number of mind-numbing distractions when I couldn’t sleep, I began turning to God immersing myself in prayer, the Bible and writing. Most days we spent quiet time together from about 3 am – 5 am.
Some days, I was just so tired, frustrated and hurting and did not have the words to talk to God because truthfully, I was not even sure what I needed. I was caught in a spiral of pain, worry, and frustration. I knew I wanted our lives to be better and I knew I did not, could not, absolutely would not go back to the way they were and regardless of what happened between my husband and I moving forward my life was going to look different. I felt like I was saying the same thing repeatedly and nothing was changing. Ironically, it was through my strength training that I recognized that I needed simplify my life and get back to my foundation. For me that is prayer, but prayer in the most intimate and most sacred way, so I turned to the angels and saints. They seem to have a reputation for knowing how to talk intimately with God, so I figured it could not hurt my cause and what did I have to lose.
Soon, I began a disciplined regimen of praying the following prayers:
Ephesians 6: 10 - 20
Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel – for protection – I pray protection over our family and most especially for protection over our hearts, minds, and souls.
Prayer to St. Teresa the Little Flower – for God to grant the favors you request – part of knowing that the request is/will be filled is that you receive a rose. I struggled for months with whether I should launch Get Strong with Jen, what it should look like, and how I should go about making it all happen. Part of my prayer request was that I would know when and if I should launch Get Strong With Jen – there is a rose bush by our front door. It has been there for 11 years – my husband had never picked a rose from it for me. I finished the novena to St. Teresa and within a few days he started bringing me a rose from the bush every day for nearly a month. It did not occur to me right away what was happening and soon the rose bush stopped blooming, but a few days later I ran across the novena and remembered the roses… I started praying it again and the rose bush started blooming again and Greg started bringing me roses again. It was like God saying – “Okay Jen. Let’s try this one more time.” And, we launched Get Strong with Jen.
Prayer to St. Raphael the Archangel – for healing – I pray for healing of our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. I pray for cleansing of all past and present injuries and for those injuries that are not ours to carry.
Novena to the Divine Child Jesus – for urgent needs – I ran across this novena at one of the darkest times in our marriage and our battle with PTSD. I remembered that my grandmother frequently prayed it and added it to my collection of prayers.
Divine Mercy – see Finding Peace, Trust, Strength, and Discipline through His Divine Mercy for more information.
Rosary – for any purpose
Honestly, I did not start them all at once. Much like my strength training, I started with one, then a few days later added another and within a few weeks I was using all of them. As, I prayed these prayers the words I really wanted and needed to say to God began to flow through my pen. Sometimes they were not pretty and sometimes I wrote them through many tears, but nevertheless they came. And, with them my heart began to change, it began to heal. And, with them my husband began to change, he began to heal. And, with them our family began to change, we began to heal.
I am sure the angels and saints did not appreciate the wakeup call at 3 a.m., but one thing is certain they showed up for me, for our family and they sat with me in some of my darkest and loneliest times and I am so incredibly grateful for our time together.
Life isn’t always pretty, not every moment is filled with sunshine and rainbows, but when you can make time to truly walk with God it is easier. No, that does not mean that every problem is solved, and that life is perfect. What it means is that when you remember that you have an incredibly strong foundation and you begin to build your house on it it is easier to walk with peace, trust, and strength knowing that He is always available to talk no matter the hour of day.
Regardless, of where you are on your faith journey, I encourage you to ask yourself:
What helps me to feel like I am on a solid foundation? What helps me to open my heart to peace and love?
Then work to discipline yourself and do those things. Soon, I suspect that you will begin to find yourself in a deeper and more intimate conversation with God. He’s got some pretty good tips – you might not want to hear them sometimes – but believe me when you listen His follow through is AMAZING!
Have a beautiful day ya’ll! Take care!
All my love,
Jen
For previous Get Strong with Jen and Jesus articles visit here.
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